Hindsight is 20/20

You always hear that "early intervention is the key". In retrospect, I wish we had started even earlier.

I do recall questioning some things even when he was an infant. He was such a quiet baby. He rarely cried. He didn't babble. He was just. so. good.

Had I gone with my gut feeling that something was developmentally wrong with my son, I probably would have started the process of getting him the support he needs when he was around 10 months old.

But hindsight is 20/20.

And everyone assured me he was fine and that was fine with me.

He's the youngest of three children - his older sisters are talking for him.

He's a boy and boys develop more slowly than girls.

You are a good parent and good at anticipating his needs, so he doesn't need to talk.

He's just a really good baby - just you wait, before you know it he'll be talking your ear off and you'll wonder why you ever wanted him to talk!

Friends. Friends with children with developmental delays and other special needs. Family. The pediatrician.

I do not place blame. I was fine with these words of reassurance because my fear of finding out that my gut was telling the truth was greater than anything I've felt before.

Although I wouldn't have processed that at that time.

And my hope that my gut was wrong after all kept me hanging in there. Waiting for him to babble, waiting for him to speak his first word.

I am embarrassed to admit that I don't recall his first word, or when he spoke it. I'm certain I wrote it down somewhere. I am truly angry with myself that I don't remember.

How could I not remember this crucial moment when it seemed all I was waiting for was that first word? For the longest time?

By the time he turned two in June 2010, he had probably 8-10 words, although I would have to check this against his memory book.

He was starting nursery school in September 2010, and I thought let's wait until he was in school for a couple of months to see if his speech improved.

I thought because he would be around a lot of other little kids, in a somewhat structured setting, that his language would take off. And if it didn't, then it would be obvious there was a real problem.

In late October 2010, the pediatrician was still not concerned with his development.

Thankfully, I found out we could "self-refer" to the county's Early Intervention Program.

That was the beginning of learning about this process which I am continuing to learn how to navigate.

Learning the process, the cast of characters, the policies, your and your child's rights, and figuring out what options you have for your child can be overwhelming for anybody.

Less than 2 weeks after I made the initial call, the process started for us.

Even though it was I who had initiated the process, I was very defensive during the intake meeting with the Service Coordinator, whom I later came to know as a great Service Coordinator.

Then there was an initial evaluation at our home. The evaluation was provided by Easter Seals.

Easter Seals? I remember getting getting floral stamps from them when I was a kid back in the 70's. What do they have to do with any of this?

From easterseals.com: Easter Seals provides exceptional services, education, outreach, and advocacy so that people living with autism and other disabilities can live, learn, work and play in our communities.

If you are beginning this process, you'll see that there are a lot of contracted services going through the county.

You'll see lots of different people coming and going, in and out of your house, intruding upon your space, and judging your child.

It hurts. It's necessary. Don't take it personally.

I wish I'd known that back then.

Especially when the evaluation report came back and they said:

Your son is eligible for early intervention services and we recommend that he be seen by a developmental pediatrician to assess for autism.

Autism?